The Guide to Better Birthday Sex

November 17, 2017

As the Jeremih song says, "Don't need candles and cake / just need your body to make, birthday sex." And sure, birthday sex is a cheap, last-minute gift that your partner will really appreciate, but there are some fun ways to make it a little more memorable than the sex you have any other day of the year.

Birthday Sex Courtesy of Refinery 29 Online
An added bonus to the obviously great gift idea: Sex on your partner's birthday is also a gift to yourself, says Michelle Hope, a sexologist in New York City.
"Really think about how you can make it fun for your partner, and make it fun for yourself," Hope says.
Gear up for the activities you know your partner loves, but also don't forget to include some of your favorites, too. 'Tis better to give and receive, if you think about it.
Just remember to keep your expectations at a reasonable level, Hope says.
If you want to jump out of a massive cake and surprise your partner, that's awesome, but birthday sex doesn't have to be a perfect, splashy ordeal (or involve papier-mâché).
"Communicate what your hopes are for the day with your partner, and understand that things can go wrong," she says. Ahead, a few ways to guarantee the party doesn't stop when they blow out the candles.

1. Experiment with Massage Candle Play
It's a little on-the-nose, but you might want to experiment with a massage candle  on your partner's birthday, Hope says. Let your partner make a "wish," and do whatever it is that they want you to with the candle.

The Guide to Better Birthday Sex

2. Send Hints Throughout the Day

If you have plans to see your partner at night, send flirty text messages during the day that suggest what's coming later, Hope says. Or, go literal and send an e-vite for the birthday sex you hope they'll accompany you to later. "It allows your partner to fantasize about what's going to happen when you get together," she says.

The Guide to Better Birthday Sex

3. Eat Sweets 

What are birthdays if not an occasion to enjoy some dessert? Hope suggests drawing on your partner with something edible, and licking it off. 
We suggest giving our Kama Sutra Oil of Love a Try.  Available in Coconut Pineapple, Raspberry Kiss, Strawberry Dreams, The Original, Tropical mango and Vanilla Creme. 

The Guide to Better Birthday Sex
Photo Credit: Mikael Theimer

4. Make Out Somewhere Public 

If you and your partner are going out to dinner somewhere special, Hope suggests stopping along the way to make out in public. Kissing might seem basic, but it's one way to extend foreplay. And making out right before you sit through a long dinner will just make your partner more curious about what you have planned for later, she says.

5. Pamper Your Partner 

Do something small that will make your partner relaxed on their special day, Hope says. Think a luscious bath bomb, an at-home massage, or even a shoulder massage at the local salon. If Thai food makes them happy, send a lunch special to them at work. These little gestures will make them feel relaxed and appreciated, setting a great mood for later on.
We suggest a relaxing bath with our Treasures of the Sea or a sensual massage with our Aromatic Massage Oil 
Read More from Refinery 29 


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