When you’ve been in a relationship for years, it’s all too easy to grow comfortable and slip into a sexual rut. The problem with comfortable is it oftentimes leads to boring ― and no couple should settle for boring sex.
Be honest with yourself: Who tends to initiate sex more often, you or your partner? If you’re the less sexually assertive partner, flip the script and take the lead on getting things started tonight, advised Jenny Block, a sex expert and the author of The Ultimate Guide to Solo Sex.
“Change things up: Don’t allow yourself to dance the familiar and instead choose the steps you have yet to take for a spin,” she said. “Do you always do things in a certain order, in a certain way? Well, forget all of that. Let go, let loose and let yourselves be free, new and unfettered again.”
You never thought you and your partner would become one of those couples that has to schedule in sex. But the reality is, hot, spontaneous sex doesn’t always happen on the regular for long-term couples, said Tammy Nelson, a sex and relationship therapist and the author of The New Monogamy. If you’re more inclined to get busy Saturday afternoon, when you’re well-rested and relaxed, more power to you for acknowledging it.
“With a sex date on the calendar, you are more likely to plan out what you can do to make it fun, different and exciting,” she said. “You can be as spontaneous and impulsive as you want ― but sometimes you have to plan it.”
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